It struck me recently that there is a word of near comprehensive application and functionality, and that word is ‘Trousers’. It’s a lovely auditory word, the kind that is a pleasure to say under almost all circumstances. It can be whispered or shouted with equal facility most times of the day. A moment’s thought followed by a swift perusal of the examples below will convince you I am right.
Trousers! (Mild oath)
Trousers! (Amazed disbelief)
TROU-SERSSSSS! (War cry)
Get your trousers on! (Hurry up)
Don’t forget your trousers. (Various)
Of course we must not forget the singular:
You Trouser (Praise)
You complete and utter Trouser. (Fair comment/criticism)
To Trouser (Sharp practice, financial or otherwise, admirable behaviour or not.)
I’m sure you can think of plenty more examples. Until then, I salute your trousers!