It struck me recently that there is a word of near comprehensive application and functionality, and that word is ‘Trousers’. It’s a lovely auditory word, the kind that is a pleasure to say under almost all circumstances. It can be whispered or shouted with equal facility most times of the day. A moment’s thought followed by a swift perusal of the examples below will convince you I am right.
Trousers! (Mild oath)
Trousers! (Amazed disbelief)
Trousers! (Delight)
TROU-SERSSSSS! (War cry)
Get your trousers on! (Hurry up)
Don’t forget your trousers. (Various)
Of course we must not forget the singular:
You Trouser (Praise)
You complete and utter Trouser. (Fair comment/criticism)
To Trouser (Sharp practice, financial or otherwise, admirable behaviour or not.)
I’m sure you can think of plenty more examples. Until then, I salute your trousers!
~
At University, such was the fear and trepidation of exams that we all replaced the said word of horror with ‘trousers’. There were some odd reactions from those not in the know, when those that were said things like: “Do you have any trousers next week?”